It's an Interesting place. The In-between awake and asleep. Between Numb and Feeling. Reality and Dreams. When you're there you're never quite sure how you got there, and you can't quite find the exit either.
That's where I've been the past couple of weeks. Stuck in that in between. Not really sure how I got in and not sure I'm completely out either. I think I've been heading into that crevasse for a while now. Honestly, I'm more surprised it took so long. There are so many things on pause, on hold in life right now. Not just for me, but for the world, it's almost like everyone has taken that shuttering breath before the world explodes in movement.
You know that scene in TITANIC when the captain shuts himself away on the brig and he's surrounded by the sea pushing against the glass? He takes that shuttering breath and then the glass shatters and the ocean gushes in? That Shuttering breathe is what I'm referencing to. I've touched on this before, but that shuttering breath is infinitely important. It's also infinitely terrifying because we know that it's only for a moment. It's not a long term breath, it's a short quick break- a moment to brace yourself because you know that everything is going to change.
Change, isn't a bad thing. It's how we deal with change. How we adapt to it, what it means for us. it's about surviving in the end. Or till the end right? Well that's what it feels like right now. Just surviving, but of the fear of this shuttering breath, anticipating the icy water rushing in. Anticipating the change. It's like when you're not quite awake, but you're not exactly asleep.
All very confusing I'm sure, but it's where I'm at right now. A sort of Limbo place. Where changes are happening, need to happen and I'm not completely sure I'm ready for some of them. That's the thing about changes, about that in between. Being ready isn't a factor. You can't go backwards, you can only go forward. The in-between isn't forever.
The In-between doesn’t have to be so bad.
With some type of love,
The Duchess
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