Oh you still here? Welcome back my dudes!
So, I'm going to give you a bit of a background on this one. The Duchess is of Dominican descent. My mother, father, grandparents... the whole damn messy mix, is from the Dominican Republic. QUE VIVA QUISQUEYA- Pero like don't get carried away. Duchess was born in the USA. So there's this weird mix of- you know what I'm not explaining it.
That line from the movie Selena sums it up...
"YOU GOTTA BE MORE MEXICAN THAN THE MEXICANS, AND MORE AMERICAN THAN THE AMERICANS. BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. "
If you know... you know. If you can relate, you can relate. Das it. But do me a favor and in your head- when you say the quote- replace MEXICAN with DOMINICAN. Same shit but call me picky? I don't care. It gets even weirder for me... because you know I'm fake married to Prince Harry, that English connection and what not- I kid I kid... sort off.
Now having said all of this, my fellow latinos/as- Ima need ya'll to BRACE yourselves for this next one. I am a self taught cook. I'ma pause for shock effect here.
3, 2, 1
Not a single Got Damn Auntie- save one (and she walked me through this on the telephono- if ya'll can cook you know damn well that don't count) taught me how to cook anything. I love my grandmother more than I am ever going to be able to tell you, but she ain't teach me what I know. Mami didn't either (I know you reading- and I've already told you this so... be mad or whateva). A fact is a fact. Reality is... Duchess got hungry, so Duchess turned on The Food Network and learned some shit. Duchess watched how people did they thing, and Duchess adapted & incorporated.
So what I'm giving you, is an amalgamation of The Duchess and everyone around her. Which true to myself, is what I do on the regular degular (ya like that Cardi B reference right quick- because I do. I lurve me some Becalis).
Now- as the child of immigrants... "First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of" Cats?
It was good until season 6... I SAID WHAT I SAID.
Here, is my Moro de Guandules Recipe. Make that shit correctly or we finna have a Duchess discussion. That is all.
Ingredients:
2 cans of Pigeon Peas (GUANDULES for the Multi Lingual)
1 small Red Onion
1 small Yellow Onion
1/2 Green Bell Pepper
1/2 Red Bell Pepper
6 Garlic Cloves (just DO IT)
1 packet of Goya Ham Seasoning
1 packet of Goya Sazon Culantro and Achiote Seasoning
1 TBL of Duchess Sazon (recipe coming soon, I swear-skip until then)
2 tsp of Tomato Paste
1 tsp of Goya recaito
1/2 tsp of vinegar
2 TBL of Vegetable Oil
Salt
Black Pepper
4 cups of Rice
3 1/2 cups of Water
Steps:
Pull out your best pan. Like a Dutch Oven or something. Set in on medium high heat and add the 2 tbl of vegetable oil. Let her get nice and heated while you PREP ALL YOUR VEGGIES. That means dice yo' onions, mince the heck outta that garlic and slice your bell peppers into thicky thick strips.
Once properly heated toss in your onions AND garlic. Allow to cook while string, until onions are soft and translucent- like ya morals :)
Throw in the Ham Seasoning & the Sazon Culantro with Achiote. if you don't have the one with Achiote fear not, you can cop you some Achiote in the minority grocery market (you know- YOU KNOW- what I mean) and add 1/4 of a tsp in with this. stir, and let that biddy marinate for a few minutes. You know you are ready for the next step when she smells nice and goes all orangey delish colored on you.
Throw in 1tsp of Tomato paste and combine with all the other ingredients. Add in your Recaito. (Don't have it? Can't find it- fear not my loves... blend the living heck out of some cilantro and you've instantly got it.) Once incorporated toss in your Bell Pepper strips, stir to combine and let marinate for a bit, till they are nice and bright in color.
Add the Guandules. THE WHOLE THING. THE LIQUID, THE BEANS. EVERYTHING BUT THE CAN. Don't add the label - why would that be a thing? Stir and let it simmer and come to a GENTLE boil. While this is coming to a gentle boil- make you a Duchess Slushy- take your tomato paste, your vinegar and some water, mix it up and stir it into that delicious dirty mess.
WASH YOUR RICE. Do this step. I am not playing with you. I am not joking with you. Too many people do not wash their rice. The rice water should go from murky to almost clear (if it's clear- send me a pic I'll be hella impressed and entertained by that perfection!Yass Queen/ Kings)
Take your freshly cleaned rice and throw it in with everything. I know- you JUST cleaned it. But dirty it up again. Stir to combine, get it all incorporated. Every last bit of it. I mean it. Combine the whole damn thing all up into that bad bitch. *
I'm going to wait and let people have their moment because I told you to add the rice BEFORE adding the water. I'll wait (Checks clock).
Add your water. Then, you guessed it. Stir to combine. Then let her just sit there. ROUGHLY 10mins or so. ROUGHLY.*
While you WAIT, for the rice to soak up all the liquid, get you a piece of aluminum foil, and no I don't understand this part- I don't want to understand it but it JUST WORKS. Cover your lid in aluminum foil. You think I'm crazy- but I'm not. Once the rice has ALMOST fully dried up and you BARELY see bubbles, cover your rice with your Aluminum foil decorated lid.
Set heat on LOW. I mean LOW, like as low as that can go- and try to go lower. Then... WALK AWAY. Go do something else. Start a hobby, check your instagram, go like my latest Post... share me with your friends (I see you and I appreciate you). Point is... Let her be. She is Signed. Sealed. And Delivered to the Lordt.
After 1 hr or 45mins (guestimate here because I'm not lying to you I don't really ever time myself. Cooking is a feeling to me and when you know its time to check - it's time to check). Cautiously approach your pot and lift the lid. Give it a turn- THIS is the moment you will find out if you are successful. Put that lid right back on and let it sit for another 10 mins- or longer if you feel it needs it. Then, you are readddddddyyyyyyy to serve the Duchess Moro de Guandules.
Let Duchess know if it's a hit... or an absolute miss. Ima try to help you- but I can't do everything for you. Trial and error is your friend my people, sometimes it really is.
Perfection is a lie- failure and adjustment is the truth.
With Some Type of Love,
The Duchess
*ratio of rice to water is tricky- GENERALLY the accepted is 2:1. If you're like me- you don't know what that means (2cups of the rice to 1 cup of water- you are welcome love). Duchess doesn't do 'Math'. Now- "Duchess hack"- if you stick a spoon in the center of the pan, and it stands up ON ITS OWN, you have the right ratio. If it falls, try again fool.
*My timing is always off. This is not about precision on this blog, when I say roughly- I mean roughly.
Some Photos or whatever...
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